My favorite lines in this movie are said by Susan Sarandon's character - the wife of John Clark (Richard Gere). When asked why she thinks people get married, she answers,
"Because we need a witness to our lives. ...In a marriage, you're promising to care about everything - the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things - all of it, all the time, everyday. You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness."
I love this speech! I believe it speaks true of what a marriage should be about. I believe this speaks true of the human experience in general. Everyone desires to be noticed. This makes me long for my life's witness in a husband someday, but it also makes me want to be a truly committed and intentional friend. I want to have others witness my life just as much as the next gal or guy. If I can be mindful of that need in others while building friendships, I think my relationships will be richer.
The BEST part of this movie is when Richard Gere's character rides up the escalator wearing a tuxedo and holding a single long-stemmed red rose. He greets his wife and asks her to dance. When she says, "But I don't know the steps," he replies, "Yes you do. You've been dancing with my for 19 years." What a beautiful comparison to marriage. I don't know, maybe it doesn't make sense to everyone, but for me - as a dancer myself - I get it!
I highly recommend that you watch this movie. It's a romantic comedy with a wonderful ending!
2 comments:
Hi Sarah,
I enjoyed reading your thoughts on Dance and Marriage. To me, it’s the expressiveness of dance that is so beautiful. Though I myself am not a dancer, I deeply feel the same emotions expressed by the dancer, and thrill to watch them because their dance expresses what I feel myself- and though I can’t express it myself, the dancer expresses it for me as I identify with them. This is especially true in dance that is worshipful, dance that is romantic, and dance that is fun.
My personal favorite form of expressive dance is ice skating. I have to watch by myself because I get misty-eyed and embarrassed. My sons often ask me, ”Dad, are those happy tears?” It’s a little humiliating for someone like me, a Gulf War Veteran and tough guy. Nevertheless, I am moved by dance, and I have been moved by your dance too.
As for the connection between marriage and dance, none displayed it better than Russian Olympic skaters Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergei Grinkov. I wonder if you know of them? They were a married couple who were Olympic Gold Medalists in pairs in both 1988 and 1994. There’s a ton of youtube clips of their routines, both in competition and showcase. Their romantic expression in their skating is unsurpassed. Check out some of their stuff and you’ll see what I mean. Their love for each other is so radiant as they perform! Here’s one of my favorites http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATErihgMr9g&feature=related
Sadly, Sergei passed away from a sudden heart attack at the age of 28. Here’s part of an ABC Sports tribute to Sergei: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRlnDnH_72Q&feature=related
A celebration of Sergei’s life was done on ice by the best skaters in the world, including Ekaterina. Here is her solo performance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vbIGjZXeAQ&feature=related
The beauty of their pair skating, like any pair that dances passionately, is not just the beauty of their expressions, but in the way they connect with one another. It is a joining, an intimacy, which, once again, expresses the deep connection I feel with my own wife. Like I mentioned before, watching dancing arts helps me express what I already feel, but cannot seem to physically express (by dancing) myself.
Of course, film is another art form that I find myself identifying with the artists. I haven’t seen the film “Shall We Dance” but look forward to renting it soon. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Sarah,
You expressed that beautifully! I completely agree with you. I too love that movie! It stirs something deep within the soul. Dance is such a picture of life and relationships. We dance with many people throughout our lives. Learning to move in sync with those who come across our path in many different rhythms and beats. Sometimes we dance alone where no one can see. Sometime we are still dancing alone in a crowd where it doesn't matter who is watching (like when he's dancing on the train platform). The dance can be shared, be intimate, inviting, fun, bringing beauty and joy. Each of us has a dance that is all our own and those who choose to share in that dance with us are treasures in our lives...for I think think they glimpse some depth of the soul.
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